i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
