i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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