She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
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I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.