she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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