I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This toilet bowl is my home.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize