is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
