i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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