I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
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I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
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Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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