she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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