just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize