I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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