how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize