hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
