Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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