pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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