I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
