some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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