He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
