So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
