I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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