I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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