Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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