Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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