I'm going to jail i love you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
