Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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