Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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