Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
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the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
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A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
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