If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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