At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
