She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
