Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
