Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
