He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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