I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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