my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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