as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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