dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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