why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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