Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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