Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
