She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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