the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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