he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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