Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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