Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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