I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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