I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
This girl is more easily done than said...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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