I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
