Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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