he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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