i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It's just like the Real World with babies
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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