I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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