so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
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she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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