That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
