birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
