Joe is yelling at the trees again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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