He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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